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Last Monday, at a conference in San Francisco, California, Apple released what they call the fastest, most powerful iPhone yet, the iPhone 3GI. Of course, the greatest part is that only the most loyal Apple customers can see and use it.

Steve Jobs, having returned to the company from his medical leave just a few weeks ago, excitedly presented the new phone to an auditorium full of dedicated Apple users, who jumped out of their seats to point and yell, in awe of the incredible new iPhone 3GI. The breathtaking phone is so slim and lightweight that it almost appears invisible.

“The new 3GI is light as air,” said Apple senior vice president Philip Schiller, as he pulled the phone out of a display case. “See how thin that is? It’s like it’s not even there. Those who really understand what we do here at Apple are going to love this new product.”

Apple also announced that along with the stunning slimness, the new iPhone includes several major hardware updates; such as a better processor and an improved screen which will provide more brilliant colors and an incredible resolution.

Currently, the 3GI is retailing at $599. But price was no obstacle for thousands of people in New York City who skipped or called in sick to work, just to stand in line at the Apple Store in order to buy one of these amazing phones.

Unfortunately, those who are not unconditionally loyal to Apple cannot see the new iPhone. Bummer.

[Onion]

About The Author

Stuart Wagner

Stuart is a professional web designer, developer, and photographer living in Ithaca, NY, USA. He enjoys web and graphic design, and blogging about Apple on his Mac. When he is not behind a computer screen, you will find Stuart around town or in the country, taking pictures of anything interesting he can find. He also travels frequently, either throughout the United States, or to Europe. For updates on his travel, and for general entertainment, follow Stuart on Twitter (@stuartwagner)